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 Post subject: Cookie Conundrum
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 12:08 am 
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Quiches, cakes and anything that involves a potato flees in terror from me in the kitchen due to the total domination that happens to them.

But the cookies? Oh the cookies, they mock. They burn, they stick, they crumble, they have clumps of baking soda hidden in them, or an uneven distribution of nuts/chips, and never, ever do they come out round, circular or remotely spherical.

We have issues. :???:

So, here is the question I offer up to the great kitchen gods who know more than I do -no one else I know bakes- I have given up on cookies-from-scratch as a unattainable 1950's housewife pipe dream, and turned to Pillsbury to scent my home with a baking aroma and fool my friends and family.

I have issues with the oven timing. I put it in for 9 minutes and their gooey, 10 minutes and their do-it-yourself-dentistry-tooth-removal-implements.

So, one day after scraping and prying my dental aids off the sheet, I was staring at my microwave above the oven and wondering if it was safe- ie, it will not blow up in my face- to microwave pre-done cookie dough, or if it would still be "raw" after. Or if it would come out as a cupcake. Or something else remotely tasty.

After an incident with a tinfoil-wrapped baked potato when I was 12, I have been banned from microwave experimentation unless I get a college degree in radiation technology.

Does anyone know if you can microwave cookie dough and eat it? :oops:

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In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 12:27 am 
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First off, are you living at altitude or in a dry arid environment such as most of AZ or NM? If so, a half sheet pan (preferably without a non stick surface) in the oven during preheat on a lower rack then tossing in 1/3 cup of tepid water into said sheet pan as soon as oven reaches temperature then waiting 2 min and adding the cookies can fix the issue.

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 3:13 am 
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she lives in Florida, actually Jason..so she is in a very humid environment.

Honestly? Cookies in a humid environ I do tend to have a bit of trouble with myself.

I'm hardly a baking god....B4 wears that belt.

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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:54 am 
Dance Puppets Dance
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Well, I can't honestly answer that question either. I've never microwaved cookie dough, pre-made or from scratch. So I really don't know.

Is your microwave one of those nifty ones that doubles as a convection oven/cooker? If so I would say yes since it is more or less just like a real over on that function. If not, you may be able to but read the packages back for directions to ensure this. I would say that due to the way microwaves cook food, that they probably wouldn't turn out that great. But I could be wrong.

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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 7:16 am 
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No my microwave is just fancy nuke machine, no convection stuff going on. I thought only cakes had altitude problems :???:, I didn't even consider the weather to blame.

I did make a microwave milk-cake once that came out pretty darn bomb-diggity and everyone scarfed down like it was the antidote to the zombie apocalypse, so I do have rather great faith and fondness for my microwave.


I think I'll just set up shop with a pan of water, a fire extinguisher and VIGILANCE and pop in a cookie dough square for a minute and see what happens.

Heres to hoping my next update isn't after hours of food poisoning or from turning into some radiation cookie monster.

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Knowledge without passion is clinical and cruel. Passion without knowledge is misguided and weak.

In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:24 am 
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Well since your not in an arid environment an increase in butter of 10 to 15% over recipe standard might help quite a bit. The extra milk solids that will be there will PROBABLY be an extremely useful addition. I will consult with my chef instructor later today. Should be an easy question for him as he used to work for Cheecha Lodge down in the Keys. Another thing you might like is a simple Pate Sucree that I picked up a few months ago that makes AWESOME sugar cookies that do not need a topping or filling.

Pate Sucree

14 oz. Butter, room temperature
6 oz. Sugar
1 ea. Egg, room temperature
16 oz. AP flour
¼ tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Vanilla extract

Techniques/Method:

1. Cream butter and sugar together on low speed until smooth but not aerated.

2. Mix vanilla, salt and egg together. Gradually add to the creamed mixture and mix just until well blended.

3. Add the flour all at once and mix until uniformly combined. Don’t over mix.

4. Portion, wrap and chill thoroughly. Overnight is best.

5. Roll or press dough into a tart pan or lay out as cookies. Dock if needed. Freeze before baking at 325°.


Dough can be refrigerated for a few days or frozen for a few months if well wrapped.


As a note, prepare 1/4 the batch at 325 if that does not work Try a 15 degree drop in temperature and then try again. Mind you also a temp test of your oven might be a good idea first as most home ovens are not even close to calibrated right and are up to 65 degrees off (usually 65 degrees hotter)

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:56 am 
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Well the dough I'm nuking is the Pillsbury cookie dough you buy in the store, which I am beginning to suspect is a pre-done food that has never or never will cross the threshold of your kitchen 0.o

But the sugar cookies look delish. I picked up a 101 cookie cutter set with every shape and size imaginable and was excited to use it and surprise my friends with name-cookies and other such nonsense, but the chips in the cookies would not be cut, so with a sugar cookie it shouldn't be too much a problem.

Hrm, I have a fondness for anise, have any cookies with that? >.>

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Knowledge without passion is clinical and cruel. Passion without knowledge is misguided and weak.

In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 9:10 am 
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DON'T NUKE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRE-MADE BULLSHIT IS JUST THAT BULLSHIT!!!!!!

As for anise I can look into it

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 9:15 am 
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Jason_Firewalker wrote:
DON'T NUKE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRE-MADE BULLSHIT IS JUST THAT BULLSHIT!!!!!!

As for anise I can look into it


Hey hey hey now. There's nothing wrong with pre-made foods when needed. Many of us have survived for decades on such. Sure they're not as good as the from scratch meals but sometimes you have what you have.

And no, I don't do pre-made cookies, cakes, brownies, fudges or any other deserts. And yes, I will out Iron Chef your instructors when it comes to baking, professional or not! My chocolate-fu is unmatched.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 9:24 am 
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B4UTRUST wrote:
And yes, I will out Iron Chef your instructors when it comes to baking, professional or not! My chocolate-fu is unmatched.


You really want to throw down? I got food that will make you crumble like perfect little slices of tart dough! My Pate Brisse with Duck Confit Filling will make you squirm

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 9:50 am 
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Jason_Firewalker wrote:
B4UTRUST wrote:
And yes, I will out Iron Chef your instructors when it comes to baking, professional or not! My chocolate-fu is unmatched.


You really want to throw down? I got food that will make you crumble like perfect little slices of tart dough! My Pate Brisse with Duck Confit Filling will make you squirm




......you....


you killed a ducky?

....POR QUE?!?!! :sad:


DuckTales

Bert and Ernie Rubber Ducky


You just killed like two of my childhood loves.

I hope your souffles-with-the-fancy-e-I-can't-make-falls-flat.

_________________
Knowledge without passion is clinical and cruel. Passion without knowledge is misguided and weak.

In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 10:09 am 
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Fillet of turbot poached in red wine, with creamed leeks, pomme puree, baby spinach and sauce St-Emilion and a tarte tatin of pears with vanilla ice cream. You will break down and cry and weep for the sheer gastronomical orgasmic delights your mouth shall experience with just one bite.

*waits for The Chairman to jump out, do the karate chop and shout 'Begin!'"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 10:16 am 
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Pate Brisse is a tart dough and use of it is a term that means a savory flaky tart lining then the filling is usually a blanche custard that forms in the already baked dough, I happen to put duck in mine, yes, but I could use other fillings, such as Emu Confit.....

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 10:42 am 
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Don't listen to his frenchy fancy words. He killed a duck. To eat. That's what you need to focus on. Not his emu custard tarts. The dead duck that was killed to EAT.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 10:51 am 
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circle of life dude, it was bred to be eaten.... so I took advantage of that

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 11:30 am 
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You do not make a stew out of Cinnabunneh and you do not make fancy french stuff out of Mr. Quackers!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 12:47 pm 
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But mister quackers is tasty!!!! and its a part of nature!!!!

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 1:56 pm 
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Jason_Firewalker wrote:
But mister quackers is tasty!!!! and its a part of nature!!!!



Emus are friends NOT food.

Should I call you Mr. Lovett now?


Emus are people too, and deserve a modicum of dignity.


Especially cute ones.



P.S Sweeney Todd reference.

P.P.S I collect rubber duckies and really are partial to them.

P.P.P.S I grew up on Lambchops Play-a-long and Heaven will not spare you if you ever speak of lambchops around me. I shall hound you to the corners of the earth, its highest peaks and lowest abysses, and your own shadow will flee in unholy terror from my vigilante-lambchop-avenging wrath.

_________________
Knowledge without passion is clinical and cruel. Passion without knowledge is misguided and weak.

In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 2:51 pm 
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Royal Crown Rack of Lamb Chops..... mmmmm.... tasty........ and Lambchops Play-a-long is way too religious for me, as I am jewish

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'Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all'
-- Sir Issac Asimov

The True Resurrection would undo the chartrusing of the Gnome
-- My friend figuring out how to permanently turn a gnome chartreuse

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents
--HP Lovecraft in Call Of Cthulhu


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:16 pm 
Omnipotent Overlord
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Gentlemen.....

The challenge has been issued!

The competitors have accepted!

Let's get it on!


-goes to make new thread-

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"Then again, Detective....how often have you dreamed of hearing your father's voice once more? Of feeling your mother's touch?" - Ra's Al Ghul
"According to the Bible, IHVH created the Universe in six days....he obviously didn't know what he was doing." - Darek Steele bani Order of Hermes.
DS's Golden Rule: I am not a bigot, I hate everyone equally. | corollary: Some are more equal than others.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 5:36 pm 
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Hey LP!


I live in Tampa and I haven't ever had problems with the humidity.

Try turning DOWN your oven about 25 degrees or so and check your cookies at the recommended time. I Normally take mine out when they are starting to tan a little and look like they may not be done but not shiny or gooey. They will continue to cook on the cookie sheet. You may also want to invest in a oven thermometer to see what your oven is calibrated at... mine runs about 25 degrees hotter than the dial says....

If you are making cookies from scratch I like Pam butter flavor spray. Otherwise DO NOT GREASE your pan. You literally Fry your cookies. Same goes with adding more butter. They will take longer and be gooey.

As for shape.. who cares?! they are gunna be chewed!! If you're still worried take a heaping spoonful and roll it gently into a ball and then flatten it out slightly. If you're using the log cookie dough just slice it with a knife about 1/2 in thick and slap it on the pan.

Cooking in the microwave tends to turn out badly... runny in the middle and burnt on the edges... not recommended.

I have a Recipe for AMAZING cookies if you'd like it just PM me. If you have any other baking questions let me know. I've dealt with just about every kind of baking disaster known... and I currently fight with my finicky oven on a regular basis. Literally gooey one minute and by the time I use the restroom and come back burnt to a crisp.


Hope this helps!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:58 pm 
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Lucky you, Universal is right THERE. But yeah I was having the gooey one minute crisped thing already. And I love Pam. The one time I did try natural butter the bottoms were like....greasy >.>

I will definitely PM you for that recipe, I'm a cookie fiend. Thats how I was kidnapped in '96. :roll: I lie. It was a kitten-in-a-box-in-the-van.

Shape is super important, because one time they were squarish and my friends made fun of my "blob cookies" which I thought was bitchy since they happily devoured them and the closest they can come is opening a pack of oreos....

/grumble


And I don't recall Lambchops being religious at all >.> I was young at the time so maybe it went over my head. I just remember the never-ending song, that no one can fold a piece of paper 16 times, and the art class part.

Also, Ducktales is now stuck in my head and my friends hate you, because I'm singing it, with emphasis on the WOOOHOO.

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Knowledge without passion is clinical and cruel. Passion without knowledge is misguided and weak.

In the East they tell you to cover your body, in the West they tell you to cover your mind.

It fills me with fear and hope, that Resolution, Revolution, and Revelation, are so close.


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