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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:52 pm 
Omnipotent Overlord
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So It's Valentine's Day....the day of romance and roses and candies and shit.

Because I spend every Valentine's Day single...I never get to make stuff for a Significant Other....

So today, I decided to make some Chocolate covered strawberries. Just cause.

I don't even eat the damn things.

Start off with 60% Cacao Chocolate Chips - you're making this shit for the love of your life (or at least the moment) and you want to assure you get in their pants later on. Spring for the good shit. ghirardelli in this bitch.

Now you can melt the chocolate in two ways - the easiest is using a double burner to melt it (water in the bottom, chocolate chips in the top, heat, stir and melt), or my way - which is adding a bit of liquid to the bottom (usually heavy cream or milk) and slowly mixing in chocolate chips while it's hot.

I keep adding the chips in until the stuff in the pot is more melted chocolate than cow juice, and has a good consistency. At this point, I take the pre-washed and cleansed Strawberries, and stick some toothpicks in a tripod like formation. why? Because if you dip the berries in the chocolate and set it on wax paper you get one side of those damn things with no chocolate. this is fucked up.

Do this shit right and make toothpick tripods you lazy fuck.

After you've tripoded your Strawberries, dip them in the chocolate, twirling them around to assure a even coating. I try to coat the bottom 85% of the berry in the chocolate. After that, you put the berry Tripod side down on the wax paper lined baking sheet.

Rinse and repeat until you've done did covered your berries in the chocolate and vodka mixture.

They should look something like this:
10299160_10152810072840805_4037999104263973719_n.jpg [ 79.04 KiB | Viewed 1090 times ]

Set the baking sheet in the ice box for a few hours for the Chocolate to set - remove the tripods and lay them out all fancy like.

If you're feeling froggy (and why the fuck aren't you? You're trying to get laid here fucker.) then melt down a lil white chocolate and make a wax paper funnel. Then go to town with making it drizzle on those chocolate covered berries in nice white chocolate stringies - cause a white chocolate drizzle is classy and shit. Just to kick it off some more mix some brandy into that white chocolate as you're melting it like a good alcoholic prick.

Now since, like I said, I spend this holiday like a lonesome degenerate fuck, I ain't drizzling this shit. That's optional.

But you better do it, or you ain't getting laid.

A-Train out.

Allen Thibodaux | Archmagus | Supervillain | Transfan | Trekker | Warsie |
"Then again, often have you dreamed of hearing your father's voice once more? Of feeling your mother's touch?" - Ra's Al Ghul
"According to the Bible, IHVH created the Universe in six days....he obviously didn't know what he was doing." - Darek Steele bani Order of Hermes.
DS's Golden Rule: I am not a bigot, I hate everyone equally. | corollary: Some are more equal than others.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:07 pm 
Pleasure Kitten Foreman
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Dammit, why don't you live closer? I'd be your Valentine!


Dogs are Man's Best Friend
Cats are Man's Adorable Little Serial Killers

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