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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:33 pm 
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TeamhairTahal: Hornet believes in Santa, doesn't he.
GenHavoc: Of course he does :)
GenHavoc: Though he's pretty sure that the humans got it wrong
GenHavoc: Santa HAS to be a Transformer
GenHavoc: the physics don't make sense otherwise
TeamhairTahal: .............
GenHavoc: "Even Starscream can't go THAT fast. He's gotta be some kind of Super-transformer!)
GenHavoc: Wheeljack: "Look, I tried to get him to pay attention and behave all the normal ways, but in the end, telling him that Santa would only get him a new afterburner and fuel injection system if he was a good little bot was the thing that worked the best. Sue me."
TeamhairTahal: Overload, Shellshock, Crimson -- All Facepalm
GenHavoc: Wheeljack: "Hey! I had to do SOMETHING! Which would you try to use? Comprehensive Meta-ethics, or Santa? Which one do you think he understands better?"
TeamhairTahal: Overload: I am not building him a 'chimney'
GenHavoc: "Besides, Optimus is always after us to try and understand human customs more. So all of you will find this Holiday Cheer stuff and play along, or you will find coal in your stockings next time you have a tune-up, if you get my meaning.
GenHavoc: "I know he's annoying and hyperactive and everything, but I swear by Primus."
GenHavoc: "If any of you have the temerity to tell Hornet that there is no such thing as Santa Claus... I will personally wash your lasercores out with bleach."

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 2:33 am 
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LadyTevar wrote:
GenHavoc: "If any of you have the temerity to tell Hornet that there is no such thing as Santa Claus... I will personally wash your lasercores out with bleach."


Sounds like a job for Deathstrike. :twisted:

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:44 am 
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Cynical Cat wrote:
LadyTevar wrote:
GenHavoc: "If any of you have the temerity to tell Hornet that there is no such thing as Santa Claus... I will personally wash your lasercores out with bleach."


Sounds like a job for Deathstrike. :twisted:

I'm surprised Deathstrike would even care to bother. :roll: :twisted:

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:06 pm 
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From "Nightmare City." It's not on this site, so don't bother looking for it.

Quote:
He kept stacking things. The pile of assorted junk he had was pretty impresive. The cinder blocks were the only part of the heap that really mattered, but the collection of broken glass added an interesting hint of "screw you." Of course, being precariously suspended over the window and held up by a slat of wood made that statement fairly clear already, but the addition of the glass fragments made the shoddy trap into a piece of art. All art says something, and this piece said "Help me, zombies want to eat my brains and the guy who was good with traps got eaten already." It was a little depressing, really.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:55 pm 
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Quote:
[20:39] agentfisherSDnet: "I am Gunnery Sergeant Breakout, your Senior Drill Instructor!"
[20:42] agentfisherSDnet: "There is no bigotry here. I do not look down on warbots, civbots, aerial bots or cons. Here you are all equally worthless."
[20:43] Magithis: True enough.
[20:44] agentfisherSDnet: "How tall are you?" "19 Meters, sir!" "19 Meters, I didn't know they made scrap bots that high!"
[20:45] Magithis: I didn't know they stacked slag that high.
[20:47] agentfisherSDnet: Ah, slag
[20:47] agentfisherSDnet: I'm telling you, I could see Breakout wearing a smokey bear hat and laying into the team like that.
[20:49] agentfisherSDnet: "Bot, why did you join my beloved Autobots?" "Sir, to kill, sir!" "So your a killer! Let me see your Warface!" "AAAAHH!" "You don't scare me, work on it."

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Last edited by Agent Fisher on Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 1:10 am 
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Dana (playing a huge homosexual follower of Loviatar [with the best stat rolls I have ever seen]) after winning a grapple with someone who has just set us up: I'm going to rape you to death.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:46 pm 
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Tev's true intentions are made clear, it would seem.

Quote:
[20:25] HotfootB5: Heh, a pissing contest of the mechaniks
[20:36] TeamhairTahal: hehehe
[20:40] HotfootB5: Teghe just wants to see Rogan and Engas get it on, I see.
[20:41] TeamhairTahal: Nah, she's in the joke as much as they are.
[20:41] HotfootB5: I mean sexually.

You know. Taking Engas's bed and all.
[20:42] TeamhairTahal: 0_o
[20:43] HotfootB5: Teghe had to chuckle there at the bodger's expense. "Gonna take that bed, Rogan? Or for once will you pass?"

Freudian slip much? :P
[20:43] TeamhairTahal: BET BET!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:29 pm 
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Quote:
IRWriter86: If he pulls this off, he gets benefits from the lass in the party. :cool:
agentfisherSDnet: And what do you mean he gets benefits?
agentfisherSDnet: All he is doing is jumping it when Jack did all the hard work.
agentfisherSDnet: The brit calls bollocks to the aussie's claim!
IRWriter86: Jack is sitting there and burninating it. Jake is SPOOKING AN AUFSEHER AND THEN DIVING BELOW IT so you might get another good shot on it.
agentfisherSDnet: yeah yeah
IRWriter86: That's right bitch.
IRWriter86: Now all I need to do is survive...
agentfisherSDnet: Good luck with that, you crazy aussie

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:19 pm 
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Seriously, I've been holding on to this one for YEARS.

Quote:
[15:14] steeleffigy: i'm unclear - where is everyone in the IK game right now? standing right outside the train?
[15:14] HotfootB5: We're heading out of the train at the moment
[15:14] steeleffigy: ah
[15:14] HotfootB5: it pulled in, and we're all BSing in the cabin as we get our things and GTFO
[15:15] steeleffigy: dammit cyncat, get online - i want to know where to be placed
[15:15] steeleffigy: whether sleeping on the train through the whole battle of wits, or approaching after
[15:15] HotfootB5: You could have been eating, I imagine. Or praying to Mecha.
[15:15] steeleffigy: he doesn't pray, so i'll assume eating ;)
[15:15] HotfootB5: And yes, thank you for letting me get that pun in. It's been years.
[15:16] steeleffigy: i believe i missed that reference too ;)
[15:16] HotfootB5: This one is easy. You're playing an arabic character in a steampunk world with a heavy focus on mechanika
[15:17] steeleffigy: ...
[15:17] steeleffigy: *smacks forehead*
[15:17] HotfootB5: Hahaha :D
[15:18] steeleffigy: brainmeats say ow


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:45 pm 
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Hotfoot.... you know that this means Nitram will have to kill you for that horrible pun.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:55 pm 
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LadyTevar wrote:
Hotfoot.... you know that this means Nitram will have to kill you for that horrible pun.
Still, totally worth it. :mrgreen:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:13 pm 
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Some of our group's slang:

Mage Crack: Any substance that enhances spellcasting abilities when consumed. AKA Julian Crack and Julian Juice.

Cheating more blatantly than Chris: being really lucky.

Head Sadist: GM

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 9:59 pm 
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Quote:
IRWriter86: You ever notice how many dark evil names Cat has for characters? Blackheart, Deathstrike...
TeamhairTahal: I think it's because IRL he's a pushover ;)
IRWriter86: Hehehe
IRWriter86: Awww, cuddwy wittle Kitty-cat/

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:03 pm 
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Continuation

Quote:
TeamhairTahal: Quoted
IRWriter86: Oh come on, now he's gonna throw something terrifying and evil at my character specifically.
TeamhairTahal: I'm the one who called him a pushover ;-)
IRWriter86: But I used baby speak, after I called his character Emostrike.
TeamhairTahal: ouch
TeamhairTahal: heheheeheheh
IRWriter86: He's gonna have a freaking 'Jack eat me whole.
TeamhairTahal: Heheheh
TeamhairTahal: Or have that Iron Lich come back
TeamhairTahal: At least we know how to kill it now. Blast the Soulccages
IRWriter86: And tear out my soul and then dance in my skin.
TeamhairTahal: right

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:22 am 
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Hotfoot wrote:
The views of Hotfoot are not necessarily held by Hotfoot is all. Wink


Yes, I had to.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:54 am 
Dragon Death-Marine General
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Quote:
IRWriter86 (10:17:50 AM): Hill Giant Arty?

magithis (10:18:55 AM): Ever wondered what happens when 12 hill giants decide to throw rocks at you?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:28 pm 
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Quote:
IRWriter86: Hmm, I assume binding the breasts would be a good idea yeah?
IRWriter86: *adds this to the list of awkward conversations I've had*
TeamhairTahal: *huggles* It's ok hon... I've had the same conversation with a gay wearing a bra for the first time
TeamhairTahal: Chain mail can fit over breasts... and in fact hugs them quite nicely.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 10:32 pm 
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Quote:
steeleffigy: well, teghe, looks like you and i will have about an hour to make more bullets, it seems
steeleffigy: somehow, it seems fitting that a paladin would get laid in a church

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:13 pm 
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Quote:
IRWriter86: Really, we are running out of Protoforms. Stop encouraging the wrath of the GM.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:33 pm 
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omg... my fighter, polymorphed into a snake, just BIT the Yuan-ti abomination that spelled her and poisoned it to death.

Nit: and your pet Quetzelcoatl is doing a mating display to you.

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Last edited by LadyTevar on Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:57 pm 
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Ok.. here's the story:
We're under the Anauroch, searching for the TerraSeer, and we've found a massive city, guarded by a Naga (with Sorc Levels) and the Yuan-ti Abomintion. There's my Warblade, a Ranger/Rogue, a DivineSoul/Crusader, a WildShaped Druid, and a Jade Phoenix Mage in the party, and no one can even hit the Yuan-ti. So, we focus on the Naga, and it smacks the DivineSoul with a shot from its Circlet of Blasting, so I decide it's time for the Naga to die. I use Avalanche of Blades, hitting it five times and glib it, then turn to the Yuan-ti and try to intimidate it into surrendering after that display of force.

The Yuan-ti snorts and hits the party with a straight Fear spell. Only the Druid and I make our saves; the rogue rolls a 2 and the mage and divinesoul roll 1s. So ... that leaves me alone, facing the Yuan-ti. We manage to hurt it a little, and then it hits me with Baleful Polymorph. I fail my saving throw, miss the Luck Reroll, and now I'm a tiny little snake, with my pet Quetzelcoatl (more character quirk than a help) looking really confused. With nothing else to do, since the rest of the party won't be back for another 2 rounds, I slither over to the Yuan-ti's tail as the druid FlameStorms it. On my turn I look to Nitram and tell him I'm biting the Yuan-ti's tail.

I actually hit the fucker's flat-footed AC, dead on. Nit had me roll for damage, and I did 1pt, just enough to inject the poison. The Yuan-ti botched his saving throw, and I rolled BoxCars on the Poison damage, dealing 12 CON damage, which took his HP down to less than what we'd done to it thus far.
Nitram declared that he spasmed and writhed so hard he broke his own neck.Why wasn't the Yuan-ti immune to poison? He'd exchanged his own poison for one that affected UnDead so he could imprison the TerraSeer (who's a lich), thus he was no longer Immune to mine.

As we're laughing and celebrating, I asked what my Quetzelcoatl was thinking at that moment, so Nitram said it was doing a mating dance, and then stood up and *demonstrated*. OMG, White Man Can't Dance. Game was called for 10min as we were all laughing too hard to play.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:31 pm 
Pleasure Kitten Foreman
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Quote:
TeamhairTahal: Paranoia: 50 ways to kill your clone
BraidedShinigami: Just because it's commonly viewed as a one-shot nightmare of stupid in jokes, horrible puns and rampant death doesn't mean it is
Nitram: No, sometimes it's an epic journey of stupid in-jokes, horrific puns, and gratuitous murder. Where you get in touch with your inner serial killer, and declare victory astride a pile of corpses. Every mission, and sometimes, right after the first meal of the daycycle.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:34 pm 
Pleasure Kitten Foreman
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Quote:
Nit: I didn't start that food fight. I did not escalate from pudding to pie. I merely assessed the situation calmly, methodically, and drew the conclusion that the only means to victory was nuking the entire quadrant with a fusion warhead.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:50 pm 
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Although B4 apparently lives in a world where you can't pull off a sociopathic mass murderer in a non-Zap game of Paranoia, that was from a Straight game. And I lasted pretty long, all things considered, but once they figured out I was the one that nuked the quadrant, it was basically a chase with me as the hunted.

People don't seem to get that when I play a game where I'm against the other players, I tend towards sociopaths. The most deranged part was he was an Illuminati; the nuking was a result of an order that claimed the cloning tanks in that quadrant were tampered with and producing unacceptable levels of mutations and investigations into the presense of the Illuminati. Like most things in Straight Paranoia, it was pointless: All cloning tanks produce plenty of mutations and people fear the Illuminati because there must always be one.

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Tev: You're happy. You're Plotting. You're Evil.
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Tev: You're turning me on.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:54 am 
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Oh fucking blow me, Nit. I made the comment that your fucking sociopathic nuketastic character and the circumstances as I was told them sounded far more Zap then Straight to me.

You designed a sociopathic murder machine that nukes a fucking quadrant and you want to go for bonus points by taking out the cloning facilities too.

Sounds pretty damned Zap to me. Because I've never seen or heard that shit happening in a straight game of Paranoia before. Classic, sure. Zap, definatly. Straight? Again, never seen or heard it before.

So please, again, fucking blow me and cut your "ooo B4 is delusional and stupid" shit you condescending prick.

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